Why You’re Never Failing as a Mother (by Amy Morrison)
A Mother is someone who gives birth to a child, raises a child or adopts one. You can look at any dictionary, list through pages or browse the net, the definition of a Mother will always be the same. A Mother is usually someone you can rely on, be best friends with, and always be sure that she will love you no matter what. Regardless what a Mother does, she’s the one who gave you life and took care of you (with few exceptions or additions here and there) !
So on that note, I want to say for those who are pregnant, expecting, curious, or thinking that they are Failing as a Mother – here’s a great article I found on the internet by Amy Morrison “Why You’re Never Failing as a Mother” – it is definitely A-MUST! read, because even if you do not think of yourself as a failure, you will learn (just from reading it) that it MOTHERHOOD is so much more than its definition.
I loved the part where Amy just goes ahead and says it straightforward:
There were no flashcards, there was no sign language (unless you were deaf), there were no organic, free-range bento boxes — your job was to just see a kid through to adulthood and hope they didn’t become an idiot.
Hey, I’m not judging, and I’m not saying one way is better than the other, but I’m just saying that we are part of a generation that considers parenting to be a skill. Like a true skill that needs to be mastered and perfected and if we don’t get it right, we think our kids suffer for it — and that’s hard sh*t to keep up with. That’s not to say other generations didn’t have it tough or think parenting was important, but there just wasn’t the same level of scrutiny that could be liked, tweeted or instagramed all at once.
You are in the trenches when you have a baby. To the untrained eye it seems pretty straightforward and easy — you feed them, you bathe them, you pick them up when they cry — but it’s more than that. It’s perpetual motion with a generous layer of guilt and self-doubt spread on top, and that takes its toll.
Feeling like you also need to keep on top of scrapbooking, weight loss, up-cycled onesies, handprints, crock pot meals, car seat recalls, sleeping patterns, poo consistency, pro-biotic supplements, swimming lessons, electromagnetic fields in your home and television exposure is like trying to knit on a rollercoaster — it’s f*cking hard.
We live in a time when we can Google everything, share ideas and expose our children to amazing opportunities, but anyone that implies that they have it figured out is either drunk or lying (or both), so don’t be too hard on yourself.
Your job is to provide your child with food, shelter, encouragement and love, and that doesn’t have to be solely provided by you either — feel free to outsource, because they didn’t just pull that “it takes a village” proverb out of the air.
She is totally right! (And we all know it)
It’s an amazing and exciting time to have a baby right now, but always keep in mind, no one has ever done it like this before — you are pioneers that have to machete through the new terrain. Chin up. Hang in there. And remember, you’re doing a great job.
Photograph: ‘What to expect when you’re expecting’ movie photoshoot